It Depends

I spend a lot of time answering questions from potential mediation clients, which I love to do by the way.  There really isn’t a lot of reliable information out there about what mediation is (and isn’t)  – or about the divorce process in general – so educating people going through this time of their lives is an important part of what I do.
 
Inevitably one of the questions that comes up is some form of “how long does mediation take/how many sessions will we need?”  
 
And then I have to give the most unsatisfactory answer of all time:  “It Depends.” 
 
But it really does depend on many factors. Listed below are just  a few things that can influence the number of sessions needed.  
 
It Depends:

1.  If you have minor children (under the age of 18) or no children – because if you have children we will need to discuss a Parenting Plan and that usually adds at least one session.
2. How many assets you have.  Are you multi-millionaires or do you have a house, two cars and a few bank accounts? Or nothing at all?
3. How agreeable (or disagreeable) you are with each other.  Will this be easily settled or acrimonious? Can we all sit in one room together or will we need to be in separate rooms?
4. If you have started talking with each other yet about anything.  Do you have some preliminary ideas or will we need to do lots of brain storming?
5. If you have given any thought to how you’d like your future to look.  Have you thought about where you’d like to live and what your needs may be?
6. How familiar you are with your assets.  Do you know the fair market value of your house?  The amount of the liens on your assets?  The balance of your retirement accounts?  Or will we need to assign homework to gather the necessary information? 
7. If you’ve met with a lawyer and know your legal rights and responsibilities.  Or will we need to spend time discussing these topics?
8. If you are separated or not.  Families that have already separated and have worked out all the kinks and just need me to write down what you have already figured out are very different than families that are just contemplating divorce.  

 
My clients enjoy being able to make their own decisions and be in charge of their own outcomes.  Sometimes that can be achieved in one session and sometimes it takes ten sessions.  I would say both of those time frames are on the extreme ends of the scale.  And as you can see by the list above, there are some things you can do to come into mediation more prepared.  
 
But really, IT DEPENDS.